Thankful...

Tis the season to be thankful; which seems to be a "right on time" reminder for me!  This morning Dave and I listened to a sermon on TV that was recorded last Sunday.  As I've stated so many times before, there is no such thing as coincidences, and watching that sermon in that very moment was certainly a much needed moment.  It was about being thankful, not so much for the things that we have, but for the things that cannot be seen.
The scripture used was 2 Corinthians 4: 16-18... "For our present troubles are small and won't last very long.  Yet they produce for us a glory that vastly outweighs them and will last forever. So we don't look at the troubles we can see now; rather, we fix our gaze on things that cannot be seen.  For the things we see now will soon be gone, but the things we cannot see will last forever."
How often I forget that life, all of it's ups and downs, are but a blink of an eye.  There isn't a day that goes by that I don't think about and day dream of our little baby.  I wish I could say that all of those thoughts are patient, happy ones.  Truth be told, it's more of a mixed bag of emotions, including worry, confusion, sadness, and loss.  It is pretty easy to get caught up in some of those emotions, and I'm glad ones of excitement, curiosity, and pure joy are mixed in there to balance that little brain of mine out!
Infertility, all its emotional issues, and dealing with innocent, but sometimes harsh comments made, along with the waiting process can certainly feel like a heavy trouble weighing us down.  But it truly is small and temporary!
From speaking with so many other couples, and women, going through such similar circumstances I've really learned how valuable having faith is.  How important it is to be thankful for all the support, blessings, and love we are surrounded with.  But also to be thankful for the pain of infertility, and the waiting process!  God is changing who I am, making me a much better person, and as I write with tears in my eyes I am truly grateful for that.  I can honestly say that I look at life in a totally different way; one of gratitude and appreciation.  Not for all the "things" we fortunately have, but for the ones that can't be seen!  Though it's a daily battle, and not the route I would voluntarily choose, I am glad that it is our journey.  I just love the saying that life can only be lived forward but understood backwards, and can't wait to be looking backwards through all of this and praising God for every troubling emotion I wrestled with! But we are not quite there yet, and each step leading up to that point has been one supported with multitudes of friends and family members.
I've been writing thank you notes lately and I often feel like I am repeating myself.  I hope that I never sound insincere, because both Dave and I really mean every word of thanks.  Recently, our parents hosted a baby shower for us, and our friends surprised us with a dinner shower the other weekend.  Stocking the nursery with all the essentials, I get so much joy from organizing all the teeny tiny socks in the drawers and finding a place for toys that our little baby will use.  Each one of those gifts represents so much more than its actual use.  To receive a gift for a seemingly "imaginary" baby, one not carried in my own womb. One who's entrance into this world and our lives, contains so many unknowns.  That gift represents a very real hope for us! It is an incredible gift because it comes from a heart full of excitement, love, prayer, and support... and that is something we cannot be more thankful for!

Our baby shower hosted by our parents

With girlfriends at the surprise dinner shower...if you look closely at the mirror you will find the boys watching football in the background :)