That's What She Said...

We actually arrived at the Bethany office on time, with Charlie in tow.  He waited in the shady car (windows down of course) as we went in with absolutely no expectations or ideas as to what we might be asked. SW explained that in order for her to write up an accurate home study (showcasing all of our perfectness ;) individual interviews would help her get to know us more candidly. I went first and Dave hung out with Charlie in the car, rather than in the lobby, which was much appreciated by our little "prince" of a pup. It's probably a good thing that (A) dogs can't talk (at least not in English) and (B) Charlie wouldn't be interviewed. As far as he's concerned, our little family of three (he doesn't consider the cat to be a family member but rather some fur thing that hangs out in the house) doesn't need to grow or change!

The interview took longer than I thought, which I should have figured.   I was asked all kinds of things like what it was like growing up and my favorite childhood memories. That was a hard one because so many of them were great. I finally answered with all the camping trip adventures we went on and Christmas in Young's Island with the Smoaks.  I used to love listening to my grandfather read the Christmas story from the Bible and exchange white elephant gifts! We talked about Dave and our marriage. Of course these answers brought about laughter and tears (I swear I am as emotional as a pregnant woman). Answering questions like, how do we divide chores and who does what made me laugh because I was picturing how Dave would answer this same question. With that in mind I tried to give him the benefit of the doubt, hoping he'd do the same for me when it was his turn!

SW asked if we talked about how we wanted to raise our children, discipline, and expectations. I answered by saying our child will be perfect, just like our marriage, and we won't have to have discipline. She didn't laugh as I was expecting since that was a ridiculous answer. After telling her I was totally kidding she smiled and told me I'd be surprised at how often people say that in all seriousness. I guess that shouldn't be shocking, but really??!!

As soon as Dave finished and joined Charlie and I in the car, we couldn't help but ask each other how we answered each question.  Of course some questions were slightly different from Dave's point of view verses mine.  Like how we handle an argument... men and women really are totally different species.  We laughed all the way over to my mom's beach house discussing everything.  I think SW probably has a good idea of who we are and what our values and priorities are.  I hope and pray she knows that we love God, each other, to laugh regularly, and not take ourselves too seriously!

We are getting so close to being officially on the "list" of adoptive families.  SW will come for the final home visit next Monday, July 2! Once she types up all the required documents and mails it in to the state department, our home study will just need to be approved.  As soon as it is approved, we will start to see recruitment emails as early as that very day.  Then the real wait begins.  Only God knows how long or short that will be until He introduces us to the precious baby He has specifically created just for us!

The Home Study Begins

The Home Study process is off and running as we had our first home visit with our social worker (whom I'll call SW) June 7 and an office visit scheduled for tomorrow June 21.  The home visit went great, lasted about an hour or so.  Not because we live in a grand mansion but because apparently D and I love talking about adoption and what has brought us here and SW has patient listening skills, bless her!  We just get so excited sharing how blessed we have been through this process.  God really can turn any situation, no matter how despair, into a blessing!  I don't think I would have believed that a year or so ago, which makes me so thankful that He is changing my heart each and every day.

The whole Heilman household (including Charlie and Spunky the cat) got ready for the visit.  We were told not to over analyze the visit, have the house professionally cleaned, or do anything out of the ordinary to prepare.  So I'm not sure if spending three days cleaning (after all I'm certainly not a professional cleaner) and having both animals (yes-even the cat) undergo military style hair cuts falls under the "out of the ordinary" category.  But I mean, come on, who's not going to do anything to prepare... right?  Some might say that I forced my sweet old cat through torture to be shaved, but I think she kind of likes it.  You be the judge...

Spunky after her hair cut/shave.... Seems okay to me ;)

Charlie after his cut... the "Prince" as he considers himself, is used to it! Notice his "throne" of blankets and pillows...we've created a monster!

After showing SW around the house, taking approximately 5 minuets, we took the rest of the time just talking on the couch.  I must say I'm a little disappointed she didn't get to see (or care about) how clean and organized our bedroom closet was (that took one of those three cleaning days I mentioned earlier)!  We scheduled the office visit for tomorrow and she told us about the adoption preference form she would send out a day later.  I've been thinking about the preference form a lot lately, even though we have already completed and returned it.  I guess with Father's day just passing and specific scripture jumping off the Bible pages in my devotion, it seems like God is talking directly to me.  I know that He does that, as it says He does in multiple scriptures, but when it is actually happening, it always feels unbelievable!  Today I read Psalms 139 and verses 13-16, which in summary talks about how custom and specifically made we each were.  It's hard to set parameters around the type of child we want and aspects we are comfortable with him or her having due to pre-natal care or lack there of and genetics.  But there is a reality to that and it's only natural to want your baby to be healthy, whether he or she is received through adoption or biologically.  Ultimately it is in God's hands, and it would be even if we were having a biological child.  

I know it's going to be hard when we start receiving recruitment emails about babies in need of an adoptive family that have a special circumstance.  I just don't know how I could go through this without faith.  Faith in the fact that God has a baby already chosen for us and that He will lead us to that birth mother and child in His perfect timing.  Faith that He will only give us what we can handle.  Faith that He will help us throughout the whole process.  Without that faith, I would be a complete and total mess right now!  I have absolutely no idea what our baby will look like, not only physically but emotionally and developmentally,  , but then again, would I really have a better idea of any of those things if we were pregnant? And if we were pregnant would we change any of those things had we known ahead of time if possible?  Of course that wouldn't be possible anyway, and I don't have to really answers those questions, thank God.  I do know that Dave and I have to have faith that it will all work out.

We are looking forward to our office visit and mini vacation there after with my mom and family.  Dave We will have separate interviews with SW and I really can't imagine what we will be asked but Dave and I have been pretty open to just about any question so we shall see.  And of course I'll keep you posted...

A Memorable Memorial Weekend...

Yes, I do realize that Memorial Day was a week ago and I'm just now getting to this post but a lot has happened in a week!  The nursery is coming along and the walls are just about done, thanks to Dave and Leo.  Our social worker called to schedule our first home visit, officially starting our "home study" process.  So between the "construction" in the nursery and the home visit scheduling, a week late isn't that bad!

After the late night of cutting, sanding, priming twice, re-sanding, and painting, the boards were finally ready to be hung.

Just about done; last step caulking all the edges!

After finding a weekend available for our good friend, Leo to use his handy construction skills and tools, he graciously offered to help us put up some wanes board, complete with picture rail.  I got this crazy idea from Pinterest (a highly addictive somewhat new social craze), and because it was "for the baby," Dave went along with it.  It all seemed so simple; a quick DIY, just paint and tack up some boards, right? Well... lets just say that our estimated time on this project was one Saturday afternoon, and a week later, we still aren't completely finished!  I should have known better, nothing is as simple as it seems. 

Dave's parents were in town and went with us to Lowe's Thursday night to help pick out some wood pieces.  Bob's woodworking expertise was not only helpful but essential at keeping Dave and I from strangling each other.  If you want to test your marriage out, try a "simple" DIY project!  It is crazy how easy home improvements can bring the worst out in you.  Thankfully, we got through the weekend without any major catastrophes, bumps, or bruises!  It wasn't easy, though.  We found that out as soon as the boys finished cutting the 2x4's and ripping them into three pieces.  Although 2x4's are cost efficient, they aren't exactly good quality, and unfortunately didn't pass quality control (aka, ME).  That meant a whole lot of extra, unexpected work and not finishing in one day (or one week for that matter).  Dave and I stayed up till 10PM working on smoothing out all 22 boards.  Keep in mind we started this project around 9AM and never really stopped.  But now that it's just about finished, it looks great and Dave and I are still happily married!

Meanwhile, I chose some fabric and agreed to do a little bartering with a friend of mine.  Wendi is extremely talented on a sewing machine and is going to try her luck with sewing some baby bedding, pillows, and curtains in exchange for some Sweet as Peas painted items.  I'm so excited she is willing to try this, I can't stand it.

The fabric I chose for Wendi to magically transform into crib bedding, curtains, and pillows.

I also found an old antique dresser that I plan to refinish and use as the changing table.  We started painting Dave's great grandmother's rocking chair for the room too. To go with it, I picked up the most perfect little ottoman from a thrift store, that just needs to be repainted and recovered. It's all coming together, and just in time for our first home visit.  The visit is scheduled for next Thursday, June 7 (there's that number again;).  Our social worker, assured us that it isn't a "white glove test" and not to be anxious about it.  She is just going to verify that we live where we say we do and make sure we don't own a thousand cats or have a meth lab in the back yard.  She will also talk with us a little bit to get to know us better and how we came to our decision to adopt.  Friends of ours who have been through the process recently, told us it took less than 20 minuets for them.  We are just glad to get the home study going.  The sooner it is approved, the sooner birth mom's can potentially choose us at their adoptive family.  I just got chills writing that.  

Ottoman for the rocking chair; best part was the price.  Fresh paint and new fabric, it'll look like new! 

Future changing table and rocking chair.  Not quite finished with chair and haven't started the dresser.

The nursery has been a welcome distraction from all the paperwork and waiting.  Next we will have the family book to focus on which will be another welcome distraction as I love scrap booking (even if it is a computer generated photo book rather than an old school actual scrap book).  It hasn't all been easy and we have experienced some set backs, like my car needing all kinds of random & outrageously priced repairs, forcing us to go into our "adoption savings." But God uses those set backs to remind us that He is more than capable of taking care of us.  We have experienced overwhelmingly generous kindness from unexpected resources, along with friends and of course family, offering to help.  Those offers came at such precise timing, there is no doubt it was God's will rather than coincidence.  It also wasn't a coincidence that my daily devotionals this week lead me to specific scripture that touched my heart...

Psalm 120:1 "in my distress, I cried to the Lord, and He heard me." 

John 14:14 As Jesus said, "If you ask anything in My name, I will do it."

God is so amazing and I can't believe it has taken me 30 years to finally start reading His word on a daily basis and open myself up to intimate relationship with Him.  Jesus has changed my life and I can't imagine it without Him!